My 2017 In Movies, Part 1
Posted: December 1, 2017 Filed under: Brian A. Costello, Movie, Review | Tags: Betty Buckley, Chad Stahelski, Chapter 2, chris pratt, Daniel Kaluuya, Danny Boyle, Dave Bautista, Ewan McGregor, Get Out, Guardians Of The Galaxy, hugh jackman, I am Groot, james gunn, james mangold, james mcavoy, John Wick, Jonny Lee Miller, Jordan Peele, Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Keanu Reeves, Kong Skull Island, Kurt Russell, Logan, M. Night Shyamalan, matt damon, Michael Rooker, patrick stewart, Rocket Raccoon, Split, T2, The Great Wall, Trainspotting, Vol. 2, Zhang Yimou, zoe saldana 3 CommentsHi. I saw some movies.
Split: M. Night (don’t squeeze the)Shyamalan verrrry sneakily goes back to the well and successfully brings about his own career resurgence. You probably know why by now, but in case you don’t, I’ll spoil it for you- turns out this movie is a sequel-of-sorts to Unbreakable (his best movie to date, if you asked me my opinion, which you didn’t. Then again, you’re here, so you kinda did…). But it’s not really a sequel until literally the absolute last shot of the movie, so let’s not dwell. Especially since the movie we get before that reveal is really great on its own.
So, James McAvoy is a man with multiple personalities that abducts three young women. The strongest… four (?) of these personalities manifest themselves at different times during the film, adding to the mental trauma of our captives, who, in turn, have their own strong personality differences that keep them from figuring out just what to do. But survivor-girl has a traumatic past that may just give her an edge over McAvoy and the threat of a yet-unseen, murderous, monstrous personality that is on its way. Also, Betty Buckley plays his shrink.
McAvoy is absolutely fantastic. He’s usually great when playing just one role, and in this he gets to play several. And they’re all so completely specific. Split is proof that this guy is an actor’s actor, and while he’s been working pretty steadily for the past decade or so, I really hope he can leave the mediocre X-Men movies behind and get back to more substantial stuff like this.
Anyway, Split is great. See it.
John Wick: Chapter 2: Hey, more highly stylized, supercrazy merc action featuring many, many fatal head wounds! Yeah, I’m down with this whole John Wick thing and I hope they make it a trilogy. That said, this one was slightly less fun than its predecessor… maybe because since it was a sequel it wasn’t as fresh and original? Whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’s still about an underground-yet-in-plain-sight society of people killing other people quickly and brutally. Keanu is clearly still having a blast, and that’s really all I need. If you haven’t seen John Wick (the first one), do so, posthaste. If you have but you skipped this one… well, you’re probably OK, if I’m being honest… but why wouldn’t you give this one a go? It’s not like it’s asking you to postulate on the interspatial implications of thermodynamic equilibrium. It’s just guns and punching and cars and stuff.
(uh… are the interspatial implications of thermodynamic equilibrium something one can postulate on? Because, clearly, I pulled that one out of my butt.)
(Why, yes, my butt is where I store big words. SO?)
The Great Wall: Uh…lots of controversy surrounding this one, mostly of the “another movie where a white guy saves a non-white country” variety. Turns out that’s not at all what happens. I know this because I actually saw the movie. And while it is told through Matt Damon’s character’s point of view, it’s so much more about the far-superior heroism of these Chinese warriors at the wall.
But none of that matters, really, because this movie is fucking dumb.
Uhhh… The end.
No, seriously, The Great Wall exists so that you can see color-specific costumed warriors going about their color-specific battle duties on top of a CGI recreation of the Great Wall of China. Example: the blue warriors attach their feet to bungie cords and jump down into the fray so they can maybe spear an enemy or two before they get horribly mauled to death by five more baddies. Which is completely counterintuitive- throw the damned spear from the top of the wall and maybe save a life or two instead of using a seriously convoluted method where your blue-clad ladies awkwardly bounce twenty feet below in the middle of a raging sea of razor-clawed dragon lizards. I mean, hell- you’ve got the red-clad archers firing away already, so… oh. Sorry. I forgot to mention something important…
They’re not fighting Mongols. They’re fighting giant, dragon-esque lizard creatures. You see, these lizard creatures are sort of like locusts in that every sixty years, hordes of them come running towards the wall because there needed to be some kind of simplistic fantasy plot for this movie because I guess someone thought dragon lizards were supercool and wouldn’t it be neat if humans clad in basic vibrant colors so everyone remembers their job I guess were to fight the monsters because fantasy is so hot right now and why am I even still typing I need a drink oh god what is reality anymore and does anyone else hear the screaming or is it just in my head oh god please someone stop the screaming STOP THE SCREAMING.
Get Out: Jordan Peele delivers a 100-minute, completely original, racially charged, reality-bending thriller that would make Rod Serling blush. I don’t really want to say any more, in case anyone reading this hasn’t seen it (and hasn’t heard any specifics) yet. Just know that I can’t imagine a world in which anyone watching this would be disappointed. I’ll have to think about it a bit (and there’s still more flicks to see), but it may just be the best movie of the year.
Logan: FINALLY. Finally, someone let Wolverine off his leash. I thought The Wolverine was pretty great, but it still had that “20th Century FOX superhero” sheen to it (I wrote abut it a few years back somewhere in THIS post). This movie, though… this movie pulls out the stopper. Opens the floodgates. Takes off the training wheels? No, wait… goes into berserker mode. Whatever. I’m off track.
I guess the future setting allowed them to do whatever they wanted, since nothing that happens in this movie could have an effect on their precious X-Man continu… it… y. Pfff. Too late to think about such things, FOX. We’ve seen all those movies. Where was I? Right- the future. It’s the future and old man Wolverine is living a boring life as a caretaker to the only guy who ever truly believed in him- Professor Jean-Luc Picard Xavier. The Professor is going senile and needs medication to keep his seizures in check so he doesn’t kill everyone around him with his brain. But Logan, who, incidentally, doesn’t quite insta-heal like he used to, crosses paths with a new mutant, smuggled out of the facility where she was created (mutants aren’t born anymore and are basically going extinct), and she, Wolvie, and Jean-Luc flee towards a (possibly fictional) mutant safe-zone while being hunted by some baddies as they trek (heh) across the country.
And what we get is an uncomfortable, brutal, and at times profound movie about generations, age, aging, fatherhood, sonhood (?), responsibility, and redemption, that, in its storytelling, isn’t afraid to get its hands dirty. And bloody. At times it’s similar to Unforgiven. Other times, it reminded me of something like A Perfect World. Part road-movie, part western, I guess. But all great. And in the end, it’s a perfect send-off to the role that made Hugh Jackman’s career (and, arguably, shackled him ever-so-slightly). As far as I know he’s now done playing Wolverine, and as much as he totally owned it over the past 17 years (ho. ly. SHIT.), I’m glad he’s gone out on a film where they finally found the perfect balance between sarcasm, anger, kindness, and pathos that this character has always been about.
And, bonus!- if you only have a cursory knowledge of Wolverine (et al.) and/or have only seen a few (or none) of the other X-Movies, this one is self-contained enough for you to still enjoy. So, enjoy!
Kong: Skull Island: “It’s OK. Good monster fights. Mostly lame characters. Bad music cue decisions. Gorgeous visuals. Really great title character.”
(Click HERE for more.)
T2 Trainspotting: Pleasantly surprised by this movie. And I shouldn’t have been- I should have just trusted Danny Boyle to not just lazily rehash what we’d seen before, but hey, like the characters in T2, I’m in my 40s and am naturally cynical due to the ever-creeping specter of anxiety/depression and an obligatory sense of my own mortality.
And I think maybe that’s the best way to describe T2 Trainspotting. Those optimistic, fearless, piss-and-vinegar twentysomethings have grown up and are each dealing with their own mid-life crises. When they get back together, all of their shared unfinished business comes out and nostalgia (for lack of a better term) gives them a quick jolt of youth, but it’s fleeting. They still need to come to terms with who they are now.
And this is masterfully represented in the film’s direction, pacing, story, cinematography, soundtrack… literally every aspect that made the original Trainspotting such a product of mid-90s twentysomething optimism has been tweaked for mid-10s fortysomething decline. It’s uncomfortable and it’s off-putting. It’s pretty great.
Side note- I’m writing this brief T2 thing upon returning from a specialist who has diagnosed my sudden, intense phantom throat pain as a combination of years of reflux damage, unchecked TMJ, and horrible, horrible snoring. BECAUSE, AGING. Yeah, this movie hits home, hard. All you twentysomethings out there- be afraid. Be very afraid.
Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2: Yeah… couldn’t leave you with that last sentence, so let’s end this first part on a positive. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 is wonderful. Funny, irreverent, cute as hell, full of heart, packed to the gills with great music… it’s a grand old time. Don’t listen to the people calling this movie “derivative”- just because they saved the day in GOTG doesn’t mean they’re all suddenly new characters that don’t fall back on their bad habits and personalities. Don’t listen to the people who call this movie “hollow”- those same people complain that the Marvel movies have become “too serious.” Don’t listen to the people calling this movie “obvious”- guaranteed, they’re complaining about the convoluted plots of other comic book flicks. Some people are just too cool for school.
But I’m not. A sentient baby tree that dances around to ELO while a violent monster battle rages, out of focus, in the background? I’ll take it. A wisecracking, humanesque weaponsmith raccoon bonding with an angry blue-skinned outcast mercenary with a heart of gold? Yeah, I’m down. A tattooed hunk of man-meat repeatedly insulting a lovable bug-woman through an utter lack of self-awareness? More, please. Is the plot a little thin? Yeah, sure. Is the father(s)-son conflict a little muddy right up until the moment they smack you in the face with it? Yup. Is the general concept of family one step over the conspicuous line? Two steps, and yes. Does that mean the movie isn’t a joy to watch? Fuck no. I am Groot.
Stay tuned…
(Part 2 HERE, Part 3 HERE, Part 4 HERE.)
2014 Movie Midterms, Part 1
Posted: July 31, 2014 Filed under: Brian A. Costello, Movie, Opinion, Man., Review | Tags: 300, Aaron Eckhart, anthony mackie, bill murray, Bill Nighy, bob balaban, captain america, chris evans, chris pine, eva green, Frankenstein, gary oldman, George Clooney, hercules, I, jack ryan, joel kinnaman, john goodman, jon snow, keira knightley, kenneth branagh, kevin costner, lego, matt damon, pompeii, renny harlin, rise of an empire, robert redford, robocop, samuel l. jackson, the lego movie, the monuments men, winter soldier 1 CommentIt’s the end of July and I’ve seen a few movies this year. So here are some thoughts…
The Legend Of Hercules: You know when you watch a movie that’s so bad it’s GREAT? Like, you can have some friends over, grab a few beers, maybe some chips and salsa, and have an MST3K-style snark-a-thon?
Yeah, this movie is not one of those. It’s just plain bad. Embarrassingly so. I watched it at home and turned it off… with only 15 minutes left in the runtime. So, yeah, I couldn’t even bring myself to finish the thing in the comfort of my own home with less time remaining than it takes to eat lunch. Bad effects, horrible writing, and that lunkhead in the lead was like a walking, mumbling black hole. I guess it got made because there’s another Hercules movie coming out this summer, starring Dwayne Johnson. That’ll suck, too, but it’s also got John Hurt, Ian McShane, Joseph Fiennes, and Rufus Sewell in it, so maybe it’ll be fun. Maybe.
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit: Nothing earth-shattering, but solid. On the director side, Kenneth Branagh knows how to get his actors to have some fun, and on the acting side he’s got no lips always charmingly hammy (especially with that Russian accent). Captain Kirk 2.0 was really good. Keira Knightly’s American accent was atrocious. Costner’s cool.
As far as what happens in the movie, well… um… spy stuff? I guess? Something about nukes at a sporting event? I really don’t remember, actually. I think there was wine involved. I mean, in the watching of the thing. Or maybe it just wasn’t memorable, plot-wise. I just know I liked it on some level. Hey, it was a mid-January release, so there was never a chance it was going to be amazing, or anything. But, yeah, solid. So, just ignore what I can’t seem to say about it and check it out.
I, Frankenstein: “How come the modern-day forces of evil always have snazzy suits and technology while the modern-day forces of good are always one goblet of mead away from a trip to the Renn Faire?” Click HERE for the full review.
The Monuments Men: Wait, wait… is that a foghorn I hear? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOrrriiiiiiiinnnggg.
George Clooney. Matt Damon. Bill Murray. John Goodman. Bob Balaban. How the hell do you put those five guys together and come up with something this bland? There were a couple of setups that seemed like future payoffs, like old man Balaban unhappy with his rank as Private and some hinted-at playful banter between he and Murray, but neither ever went anywhere. There was an almost-funny thing where Matt Damon speaks in really broken French (with the subtitles to prove it), but once the concept was introduced it was treated as an afterthought. And that was really the general issue with this flick- it felt like a two-hour first act of a movie.
There were a couple of bright spots, namely Jean Dujardin and Hugh Bonneville’s French and British characters, respecively. They transcended the plodding, flatlined story and breathed nuanced life into their roles… and then they died. Like, halfway through. Leaving Cate Blanchett-Costello to do all the heavy lifting, performance-wise. But she disappears for a huge chunk of the runtime, so… waste.
That’s all I have to say, really. Even thinking about this movie is boring me to snores.
The Lego Movie: Yup, it’s as funny, heartwarming, irreverent, exciting, and original as you heard. A corny breath of fresh air. A laid-back, fun time. A hoot.
That’s all.
Robocop: A surprisingly good movie. For a while. The prologue (of sorts) sets up a pretty nice, original take on the story, complete with a FOX News-style braying talking head and bald-faced parallels to modern-day, technologically “advanced” American involvement in chaotic, transitional, oppressed countries somewhere off the northeast corner of Africa… but then somewhere about an hour in you realize they’ve abandoned originality for reminiscence, and you’re spending more time appreciating the clever ways they updated the original movie than caring about what’s actually going on in the one you’re watching. And then your mind wanders to a place of nostalgia. And then you just want to see Kurtwood Smith turn an irradiated Dr. Whatsisname from ER and Fame into flesh soup with his SUX 6000 in a dirty steel factory. And that makes you realize that this remake never really had a chance, so you finish it out of respect for the good fight, but then you pop in the original and gloriously relive what is possibly the most violent, sarcastic, and societally-accurate film spectacle from, and about, the 80’s.
So, basically, Robocop 2014 is a flashy commercial for the newest Hi-Def release of 1987’s Robocop. And for that, I thank it.
Pompeii: You know nothing, Jon Snow.
300: Rise Of An Empire: In the first five minutes of this movie, there’s about twenty slow-motion CGI blood splatters, featured prominently, right in the center of your screen. But you say to yourself, “self, I’m going to soldier on, because it’s obvious they’ve put some care into the imagery of this thing, like the original did, and are hoping to keep this thing’s style in that world, for continuity’s sake. Except blue.”
Buuuuuuut then the next five minutes happen. And then the five minutes after that. And a few five minuteses later you realize that this would-be “framing story” for the original 300 is doing nothing but cheapening the entire few-against-many aesthetic of that film, and the only reason to stick around is for the occasional cool, albeit hopelessly xeroxed-from-the-source, visual representations of (totally awesome, old-school) war (,bro!). And then it ends. And then, just like with Robocop 2014, you immediately pop in the original, because that’s how it’s done. Bro.
But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I actually recommend this thing for one very specific reason- it contains the most complex sex scene I’ve ever seen. Complex, because it’s equal parts uncomfortable, sexy, violent, confusing, right, wrong, and hi-fucking-larious. Check it out.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier: A surprisingly ensemble-driven movie, considering it’s a Captain America flick. This is not a bad thing. They figured out how to make a S.H.I.E.L.D.-heavy film around the title character (well, one of the title characters) without detracting from his personal, ongoing storyline (which was one of the (overblown) complaints about the original Thor flick). And the Marvels-That-Be continue to figure out exciting ways to keep Cap from being too “vanilla.” The first major sequence of the movie sees he & Black Widow on a rescue mission on board a S.H.I.E.L.D. vessel, but instead of an all-out guns-a-blazin’ fight, Cap is all stealthy and ninja-esque (in his new, muted blue-and-silver supersuit). But just when you think, “this guy is going to sneak up on people and just knock them out, because, vanilla,” a fantastic, brutal fight scene happens where no punches are pulled. And then the major plot kicks in (starring Robert Friggin’ Redford and Samuel L. Jackson) and it’s one of espionage and intrigue, which is the perfect playground for this blast-from-the-past Stars-And-Stripes soldier boy to grow as a character. And then they throw in the other guy from the film’s title, adding a personal connection to the proceedings for Steve Rogers, and suddenly you realize that Captain America is a seriously nuanced dude.
…and then you look up directors “The Russo Brothers” to see what else they’ve done, and you go, “holy crap, those guys directed a bunch of Community episodes, but nothing from that terrible fourth season, so no wonder I enjoyed myself so much,” because ensemble is totally their bag. And then you lament having to wait another two years for their next Captain America flick.
Oh, and I should mention Anthony Mackie. Guy took what was clearly an awkwardly wedged-in role and turned lead into gold.
Be back in a bit…
(Part 2 HERE)
More 2013 Movies, Part 1: Temperamental Maestros, Tender Mutants, and Talking Meat.
Posted: September 26, 2013 Filed under: Brian A. Costello, Movie, Review | Tags: adamantium, adrian palicki, bakula, behind the candelabra, channing tatum, claws, Dwayne Johnson, first class, g.i. joe, hugh jackman, liberace, mariko, marvel, matt damon, michael douglas, mutants, ninjas, ray park, retaliation, roadblock, snake eyes, storm shadow, The Rock, the wolverine, thorson, wolverine, x-men 2 CommentsMore stuff. Because what you really want are write-ups about months-old movies, right?
Behind The Candelabra – It occurred to me that even though this wasn’t a theatrical release, it is a full-on movie, so I should say something about HBO’s Liberace biopic that I saw back in May. Michael Douglas did a fine job portraying everyone’s favorite glitzy piano player, even if it was a little one-note. Matt Damon, however, was a revelation as Liberace’s boytoy, Scott Thorson. Just a brilliant, subtle, uncomfortable, fearless performance, perfectly encapsulating what it is about that guy that makes him so great an actor. Scott Bakula showed up and lit up the screen in an all-too-brief role. He’s a guy who deserves more of a career than he has these days. Also, Rob Lowe was unintentionally (I think) frightening as a plastic surgeon who has had one too many plastic surgeries. Think Alec Baldwin’s stretched-out-face ghost in Beetlejuice.
And as for the movie itself, well, it was… informative. All I knew about Liberace was from the fantastically colorful and shiny performances I saw on TV (and MAN, that guy could play) as a young’un in the early 80’s. I never would have known this part of Liberace’s (well, Thorson’s, really) story, had this movie not been made. So, yeah, it had my interest… for about an hour. Then I realized it was never going to actually have any real peaks or valleys. Then I remembered that’s because it was a Steven Soderbergh movie. And, yeah, I know I (softly) bag on that guy a lot, but his style just doesn’t suit me. Everything feels so safe. Hell, even Traffic (the last Soderbergh joint I saw), for all its violent drug-cultureness didn’t leave me with much more than, “yup. Pretty good, uncomfortable, informative movie, I guess. Next!” Of course, that was like fifteen Soderberghs ago, so maybe I shouldn’t assume they’re all like that… but on the other hand, I walked away from Candelabra feeling the same way, fifteen Soderberghs later, so… dunno.
I’m just gonna go with this: Behind The Candelabra was good.
Wow. Damn with faint praise much?
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The Wolverine – It’s official- FOX’s Marvel output is back on the up and up. Things were looking pretty bleak after the 4-part disharmony that was Fantastic 4, X-Men: The Last Stand, Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer, and X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Two of which, namely the X-titles, I didn’t find to be the cinematic assrapes people keep saying they were, but I wouldn’t defend them as much more than “watchable.”). Then X-Men: First Class came along and started the ball rolling again (not going to add to the fellating of that movie. When it was good, it was great. But there was plenty of stuff that was simply awkward. Like, you know… the actual “first class”), and now The Jackman returns (again!) to the role that made him a star to knock said ball… well, not exactly out of the park… let’s call it a stand up triple. An exciting, runner-advancing, RBI-delivering, no-sliding-necessary, man-in-scoring-position triple with two outs and X:Men: Days Of Future Past at the plate.
Hey, I’m writing this as the regular MLB season is ending and my boys are entering the playoffs at the top of their league, so let me have this seriously thin baseball analogy, OK?
Anyway, Hugh Jackman (Huge Ackman?). I swear, he’s gotta be the coolest guy out there. Dude has carved out a respectable non-Wolverine career (on the stage too, so you know he’s legit), yet keeps returning to his breakout role. Sure, he’s getting paid the big bucks, but seriously, he’d get paid no matter what roles he took. Guy doesn’t have to keep signing the mutant contracts (he’s been in six at this point, next year will make it seven). I like to think it’s because he both genuinely enjoys playing Logan and isn’t a bigheaded Hollywood douche that longs to forget where he came from. But, uh, that really doesn’t have much to do with the actual movie, so…
…the actual movie. Is really great. It’s a movie that, once it takes off, never stops. Never slows down. Even in the quiet scenes there’s a sense of forward momentum. The action sequences are really goddamned exciting, the secondary characters are all interesting and fully realized (the caveat being “Viper.” I never really got the point of her), and to top it all off, I’ve found my next wife- Tao Okamoto. Or, wait… Rila Fukushima. You know what? They can fight it out. Anyway, really the only thing I wasn’t in love with was the ambiguity of the whole “Wolverine losing his powers” thing. I mean, yes, they “explain” why it was happening, but it was awkward. And its place in the finale was almost laughable (a machine specifically shaped and designed to sit Wolverine down, secure his arms, and drill into the bone marrow of his claws so the guy in the samurai-shaped hyperbaric adamantium mech armor can be young again? Yeah, it’s a comic book flick, but Jeebus Creebus, that’s a stretch…), but it didn’t kill the movie. It just, well… see the whole baseball thing above.
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G. I. Joe: Retaliation – I didn’t think it was possible, but once Channing Tatum got offed at the beginning of this movie (spoiler a-DERP!) they found an equally bland waste-of-space to replace him (D.J. Cotrona, in case you care about actors you may never see again). So, that happened. Oh, but there was also Adrian Palicki, who was almost as bland, so… TWO bland actors to replace one bland actor. I mean, fuck- this is a brainless action movie based on a 1980s-era toy line. It doesn’t take much, kids. Just ask Dwayne Johnson. Well, yeah, he was kinda bland, too, but he at least knows how to sell buddy scenes and action sequences. Seriously, when your most interesting character is a mute guy who wears a black helmet for the entire movie (Darth Ray Park), you know you’ve got something, er… “special” on your hands.
Not a total loss, though. There’s some fun (if not pointless) action, like the mountainside ninja fight, and… OK, maybe that was it. But, it’s always a pleasure to see Jonathan Pryce, Ray Stevenson, and Walt Goggins pop up in random movies to add some class…. even if zero multiplied by anything is still zero… and I swore I saw Bruce Willis at some point. I think it was a scene in a church with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Oh, wait… that was The Expendables. Same scene here, though- the one where he cashes a check while sleepwalking.
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Oh, also, this:
And this:
This, too:
Also, also this:
And also this:
But, finally, this:
Part 2 HERE.
Yeah, Well, You Know, That's Just, Like, uhh... Your Opinion, Man... 
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