Shatnermask 2018

Halloween (2018): A well-shot, pull-no-punches fan film that is pretty serviceable, but ultimately misses the point of the original, albeit FAR less egregiously than any of the other sequels and remakes.  Some useless jump-scares (half of which are of the “sudden edit to a non-scary thing but REALLY LOUD” variety), some seriously well-crafted stalker/murder scenes, some terrible exposition, some great character work, and callbacks that run the gamut from interesting to obligatory to eye-rollingly bad.

So, 40 years after the events of Halloween ‘78, Michael Myers is being transported by bus to a new, maximum(er?) security prison… on Halloween Eve.  Because of course they’d do it on that day.  His new doctor is a nutcase that lets a random podcast duo into the prison to try and interview him first, even though Michael hasn’t spoken since he was a child, because of course he does.  They bring along the weatherbeaten mask he wore to murder people in 1978, because of course they do.  I guess this sets him off, prompting a prison bus escape.  Or maybe Doctor Nutjob helps him escape.  Unclear.  Doesn’t matter.  He escapes.  Then he murders a size-appropriate mechanic and takes his dark blue jumpsuit, because of course he does.  Next stop: Haddonfield, IL.

Meanwhile, Halloween 1978’s survivor girl Laurie Strode has spent the past 40 years cosplaying as T2 Sarah Connor.  ‘Nuff said.

I guess my point above (not the Laurie Strode thing) is that it felt like all involved had every opportunity to recapture the point of the first movie- that sometimes evil just happens, for no reason, in the unlikeliest of places, and then slinks back into the shadows… and I think they approach that point, but it gets bogged down by the aforementioned problematic exposition, most of which is about every character asking, each in their own way, for a Michael Myers explanation that they’re not going to get.  And they ask a lot.  Hell, just before the opening credits, Random Podcast Character guy is permitted to demand, screaming, of the hulking murder machine in a mental ward in front of all the other disturbed individuals, to explain something.  Does it make for an interesting and effective prologue-ending sound edit?  Absolutely.  But does it make for a good Halloween movie?  Not sure.

The aforementioned mechanic jumpsuit thing is a problem because it ignores reality in favor of a familiar visual- a stark white face floating over a semi-nebulous shadow-shape.  And yes, OF COURSE I understand that on an iconic movie monster level.  But here’s the thing- if you’re spending time writing into your screenplay, that specifically and aggressively ignores ALL previous sequels, a justification for a familiar costume, then are you really any better than those sequels?  And are you now taking your hyper-real, pointedly non-supernatural antagonist and leading him down the path to Jasonfreddyville?  Because that’s EXACTLY what all of the previous Halloween ’78 sequels (sans III) did.*

Anyway, as I said, the scenes of murder are all very well-crafted and absolutely stomach-churning in their violence.  But there are SO MANY OF THEM.  I was starting to get a little weary by the time the fifth person was dead… and that was only about 20 minutes in.  One thing the original Halloween did right was to build up an impressive amount of dread before anyone gets killed. And then it’s only three people (not counting OG size-appropriate, dark blue jumpsuit-wearing mechanic…). H2018 goes 80s-slasher-style in its murder frequency.  Thankfully, it doesn’t go too far into Friday the 13th, Part VII territory with its “interesting kills,” but it comes close a couple of times.  There’s a knife-protruding-through-throat moment in particular that walks that line, but I’ll forgive it- it could have been a colorful party favor through someone’s eye (no offense, J-Voors.  You still cool).  Oh, and in case you were wondering, YES, a body gets nailed to a wall with a butcher’s knife and there IS a figure under a white bedsheet at one point.  Because of course.

And that’s the sort of dual-personality that hobbles this movie at times.  It’s confident enough in doing its own thing… until it isn’t.  Now, granted, there are people out there who haven’t seen the original and therefore wouldn’t notice these kind of things… but that stuff felt like it was put in for people who HAVE seen the original and therefore could potentially have the kind of reaction I did- feeling slightly disappointed that after being promised a “true sequel” we ended up with “very serviceable pseudo-nostalgic murder porn.”

OK. Let’s talk Laurie Strode.

Jamie Lee Curtis is pretty great.  Of all the pieces that made up this movie, JLC seemed to fit the best.  She understood the concept, more than anyone else involved, that the reality of being “survivor girl” is a lifetime of fear.  There’s one scene in particular that stands out- grandma Laurie joins her daughter’s family at a birthday dinner after learning of Michael Myers’ escape.  She tries to remain calm and collected, but ultimately has a breakdown in the restaurant while her family squirms in their respective seats at crazy grandma and her paranoid antics.  It’s a very real, very human moment that outdoes any and all for-the-cheap-seats scenes of Laurie training with firearms in her backyard.  But I’m not sure the rest of the film ever reaches this level of emotional reality.  By the end it does sort of morph into a piece about it never being too late in life for a woman to face an assault from her past, but, to me, the concept is seriously undercooked and afterthought-ish, so maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there?  Or they decided on the concept too late in the process to really flesh it out?  I think maybe the latter.  There are certainly visual cues to suggest such a thing, like the final tableau of our three survivor women, but really- considering the simple fact that assault against women of all ages, whether it be in the past or happening right now, is one of the biggest societal discussions happening in this country as we speak, I think this Halloween had a real opportunity to tackle it head-on.  Instead, I think we got some half-baked, 11th hour subtext.  I mean, kudos for even having that, but I found it slightly frustrating.

Buuuuut, I digress.

One thing they definitely got right- Michael Myers is frightening again, even if this time around it’s less about seeing a “shape” in the distance and more about the bone-crunching, throat-crushing, face-crumpling, uncomfortable brutality inflicted upon, well, just about any random person.  Literally no one is safe in this movie.  And they really, really make sure you know it.  I’d call it very Terminator-like, but hey, that movie owes its existence to the original Halloween anyway, so… redundant?**  Also, it needs to be said- the return of John Carpenter on the film’s music absolutely helps with this.  It may be the single best updated nostalgia thing this movie has to offer.

Anyway, Halloween 2018, man.  I guess I’d say walk, don’t run to see it.  Maybe even if that walk is to your couch in a couple of months.  It’s a fine line- referencing the original movie through visual style, sound cues, credit sequences, and color palettes without just straight-up remaking it with a 40-year buffer, but in doing (and not doing) the aforementioned stuff I think we got just a smidge too much Friday The 13th chocolate in our Halloween peanut butter.  Empty calories, though, are still pretty fucking tasty.  Even if they make your teeth fall out.

With this movie I mean that literally.

*were this my movie, I’d have kept Myers in his asylum whites and the mask.  Go full-on “man-ghost” and give us a new frightening visual reference.  Yes, this would have ruined a shot of Michael’s face seemingly floating in reflection at one point, but that was so precious and obvious that it didn’t service the movie anyway.  And it just made me think of the ill-advised Special Edition cut of The Exorcist with its floating Pazuzu faces digitally inserted into random appliances (too esoteric?).

*which, in turn owes its existence to Jaws and Westworld, which, in turn…